Oysters.

Posted: Category: Life as I Know It 1 Comment

For those of you following me on Facebook, you have already heard of my brush with death thanks to what my wife thinks is an allergic reaction to an oyster (or two).

This is going to get graphic and I am only writing this more for myself so I can come back to it the next time I want to slurp down an oyster shooter and pop myself in the nut sack with a nail gun.  So, if you have the stomach for it, keep going.

I woke up Thursday morning with a bit of diarrhea but not awful… I headed off to work and felt fine until the first 30 minutes at my desk.  My stomach seized and the cramps were unbearable.  I ran off to bathroom and after a monumental “evacuation” I automatically started throwing up.  Cold sweats, shivering and dizziness followed and I knew I had to go home.  I had to stop twice on the way home to throw up, once on 99 which was a bit embarrassing but I made it.  The next 6 hours were pretty much the same thing.  Good thing we have more than one bathroom since I was bored with the decor in the one, I just switched to the next.  I like to puke in new environments.  About 5pm I started holding down liquid.  I picked up a Gatorade and sipped it diluted with half a bottle of water.  At 7 I ate a piece of bread and it felt like heaven… my first bit of food since the day before and it held!  Oh the glory.

All in all, I lost 4-1/2 pounds, a great view of our toilets and a massive pulled muscle in my lower back.   My hydrating is going well thanks to a few bottles of HEED and some chocolate milk and I’ve been chowing down on avocados, bananas and a delicious turkey sandwich.

Rosanna says no more Oysters… I say, No @#$^ problem.

One Response to “Oysters.”

  • Ugh. Huge loss. Oysters, especially those from here abouts are one of my favorite foods. Oh, BTW my best friend spent a summer during law school working in a furniture factory and actually did shoot himself in the nuts with nail gun. He said it sucked at the time, but he’s gone on to make one of the most beautiful children in the universe since. So maybe you’d prefer that to your next oyster shooter!

    David in Burien — March 14, 2009 at 7:39 am
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